The Beloveds
by Pastor Dag Heward-MIlls
Who Is a Beloved?
My beloved is mine, and I am his… Song of Solomon 2:16
A “beloved” is a person with whom you have a relationship, which is intended to end up in marriage. In other words, he or she is the man or woman you have officially agreed to marry. Some use the terms fiance(e),boyfriend, or girlfriend to describe the relationship, but in this book we are adopting the term “beloved”.
We do not advise young men and women to have close relationships with the opposite sex, which are not intended for marriage, as these boyfriends and girlfriends commonly involve themselves in immoral vices such as fornication. Hence, we caution that such relationships should be entered into solely for the purpose of marriage, and that the period for developing the relationship before the marriage (traditionally referred to as courtship) should not be too long.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2
Are You Sure You Want to Marry This Person?
Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21
And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. Genesis 24:58
Eight Things to Consider When Choosing a Beloved
1. The fact that the parents are good does not mean the child will also be a good spouse. Is he/she committed to God?1
2. Don’t marry just because your parents say so. Is your intended partner your friend?2
3. If you marry too early you will miss out on certain things in life (eg. your youth, your time of being single and free).
4. Consider the fact that people do not really change and so anything that you do not like about your beloved and therefore spouse, is also not likely to change.
5, Will you be in a position to manage financially?
6. Will you have a place to stay when you marry?
7. Tribal differences are going to affect your marriage.
8. Disparity in levels of education will also affect your marriage.3
Notes
1. Theda Hlavka, Saying I Do Was the Easy Part (Nashville, Tennessee: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2001), 83 – 88.
2. William L. Coleman, Engaged: When Love Takes Off (Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, 1980), 18 – 19.
3. David H. Olson and John Defrain, Marriage and the Family (Mountain View, California: Mayfield Publishing Company, 2000), 276 and Evans A. Laryea, Joining of Lives ( Accra, Ghana: PAL International, 2002),10 – 11, 166 – 205.
by Dag Heward-Mills
by the best selling African author Dag Heward-Mills
Who Is a Beloved?
My beloved is mine, and I am his… Song of Solomon 2:16
A “beloved” is a person with whom you have a relationship, which is intended to end up in marriage. In other words, he or she is the man or woman you have officially agreed to marry. Some use the terms fiance(e),boyfriend, or girlfriend to describe the relationship, but in this book we are adopting the term “beloved”.
We do not advise young men and women to have close relationships with the opposite sex, which are not intended for marriage, as these boyfriends and girlfriends commonly involve themselves in immoral vices such as fornication. Hence, we caution that such relationships should be entered into solely for the purpose of marriage, and that the period for developing the relationship before the marriage (traditionally referred to as courtship) should not be too long.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2
Are You Sure You Want to Marry This Person?
Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21
And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. Genesis 24:58
Eight Things to Consider When Choosing a Beloved
1. The fact that the parents are good does not mean the child will also be a good spouse. Is he/she committed to God?1
2. Don’t marry just because your parents say so. Is your intended partner your friend?2
3. If you marry too early you will miss out on certain things in life (eg. your youth, your time of being single and free).
4. Consider the fact that people do not really change and so anything that you do not like about your beloved and therefore spouse, is also not likely to change.
5, Will you be in a position to manage financially?
6. Will you have a place to stay when you marry?
7. Tribal differences are going to affect your marriage.
8. Disparity in levels of education will also affect your marriage.3
Notes
1. Theda Hlavka, Saying I Do Was the Easy Part (Nashville, Tennessee: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2001), 83 – 88.
2. William L. Coleman, Engaged: When Love Takes Off (Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, 1980), 18 – 19.
3. David H. Olson and John Defrain, Marriage and the Family (Mountain View, California: Mayfield Publishing Company, 2000), 276 and Evans A. Laryea, Joining of Lives ( Accra, Ghana: PAL International, 2002),10 – 11, 166 – 205.
by Dag Heward-Mills
by the best selling African author Dag Heward-Mills
