Overcoming The Curse Associated With Marriage

by Pastor Dag Heward-MIlls

How does a woman come out of this apparently hopeless state of affairs? By wisdom! It is possible to overcome the desire for a husband by applying the wisdom in the Word of God.

When a woman of direction applies the wisdom of God, she will perceive marriage in the right context. I want you to see and understand what marriage can and cannot do for you.

You will have a blind desire for a husband when you don’t understand what God is trying to do for you. You can be single and very happy. All women whether married or unmarried need to get this right. This is not a teaching for single people. It is a teaching for women with direction. A woman must ask herself, “What is my purpose in life?”

A Woman’s Purpose

God has ordained great works for every woman. When an unmarried woman discovers that her main purpose is to accomplish the will of God, she will be content. When a married woman discovers that her main purpose in this life is to do the will of the Father, she will become a fulfilled woman.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Don’t Look for Happiness in a Man

If you look to your husband (even Christian husbands) for fulfilment, you will not be a happy person. If you look to God for fulfilment you will be satisfied. Many married women, who have discovered this concept no longer look to their husbands for fulfilment.

I have talked with numerous single and married women. The secret to happiness for both of them is the same. Serve the Lord, give yourself to God, live for him and thereby walk in fulfillment.

Look for Happiness in God

Have you ever wondered why Jesus never considered getting married? Marriage is an arrangement that adds another dimension to life on this Earth. Jesus didn’t need that dimension to be fulfilled. Jesus did not need to be married in order to be happy in this life. Jesus gave the secret to his happiness upon this Earth.

Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work. John 4:34

Meat is the nice part of food that we all enjoy. Jesus pointed out that his enjoyment came by doing and finishing the will of God. Let’s face it! How long will you live on this Earth? How many more years do you have to go before you leave this Earth?

When we get to Heaven there will be no husbands and wives.

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. Matthew 22:30

Will having a husband affect your future happiness in Heaven? When a woman concentrates on her real purpose for this life, she becomes a happy person.

The story of Kathryn Khulman exemplifies this principle. When Kathryn Khulman walked away from her controversial marriage that had brought much pain and disillusionment, she was able to concentrate on her ministry.

By concentrating on her ministry, as a divorced and single woman, she accomplished what many men have not been able to do. I believe she’s in glory today. Do you think her being married or not matters now?

Husbands Can Quench Your Call

Many women cannot fulfil their ministries because of their husbands. One day, they will have to give an account of their ministries that never materialised. I know female pastors who have been banned by their husbands from even going to church.

Many husbands are not comfortable with their wives being so active in the ministry. Married women may seem to be elevated socially by their marital status. But one day it is women who have fulfilled their ministries who will be proud and joyful in Heaven.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness… 2 Timothy 4:7, 8

This crown is laid up for women with direction! Women with direction fight a good fight and finish their course. This crown is not laid up for women because they have husbands! This crown is not given to women because they have had children! It is laid up for women who have kept the faith!

Does your marriage allow you to keep the faith? Does your marriage allow you to be a Christian? Does your marriage allow you to be in the ministry, as you would love to? Does your marriage allow you to fight and finish your course? Will you finish your course of ministry?

Come out of the curse by renewing your mind. Set your eyes on things above. Women with direction, no man (even Christian men) can give you the fulfilment I am talking about. From today let this mind be in you. The curse of desiring a man to dominate you will disappear in the name of Jesus.

When this wisdom is in you, you will be a different kind of woman. It is only by renewing your mind that you can overcome the curse!

by Dag Heward-Mills

by the best selling African  author Dag Heward-Mills