Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Proverbs 27:17

Churches that do not grow are often isolated. Ministers of the Gospel who have good relationships with other ministers often become successful and take on the characteristics of their friends. It is important to have good friends in the ministry. You become like your friends. If your friends have large and successful churches you are likely to have a large and successful church too.

Silently living in isolation will not help anybody. It will definitely not help someone who wants his church to grow. Humble yourself and do what it takes to have relationships with those who matter.

Years ago, I zeroed in on Dr. Yonggi Cho and decided to learn from him and get close to him. Perhaps, that was one of the most important decisions of my life as a pastor. I had decided to become close to the pastor of the largest church in the world. That association has affected me in more ways than I can think.

Golf and Lunch

One day, after playing golf and fellowshipping privately with Dr Cho, I sat down to have lunch with him and some other ministers.

An elderly Korean gentleman walked up to me and said, “You have done very well. I remember you. I remember when you first came to meet with Dr Cho in Yverdon, Switzerland. You were unable to meet him, even though you wanted to.”

That was almost twenty years ago.

Then he continued, “You have persisted. Do you remember me? I spoke to you then.”

I smiled back at him, “I remember you clearly. I remember it like yesterday. I had just started my church and I did not even have a church building.”

Then he said again, “You have really persisted.”

You see, it had been a long and dogged journey of coming close to a great person. I had come from the outside, from nowhere. And here I was, sitting next to the pastor of the largest church in the world having lunch.

After years of associating I had become a golfer and also received the great spiritual blessing of becoming the pastor of a large church.

1. You must have friendships, associations, relationships, affiliations and connections with other ministers of God. Every minister and every relationship is a joint that supplies something to your life and ministry. What they supply to you will cause growth to happen in your ministry. Relationships with key ministers of God have greatly contributed to the growth of my ministry.

Relationships cause growth!

Interactions cause growth!

Friendships cause growth!

That is what the Bible says.

New dimensions and new chapters have opened up in my ministry as I have opened up to different people. Read it for yourself: … the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16 (NASB)

2. You must have friends and relationships in the ministry because these relationships will give you knowledge you do not have. You are always excluded from certain things because of knowledge you do not have. In the ministry, it is necessary to relate with other ministers who may not be in your church or denomination. God wants to expose you to other ministry gifts.

“…being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;”

Ephesians 4:18 (NASB)

3. You must have friendships and relationships because they stir you up for greater works in the Lord. When you stay in your little world you have no idea of what God is doing elsewhere. You have no idea that there can be something greater and better than what you are doing. Every time I have visited someone’s church I have been blessed and provoked to do something greater and better in my church.

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

Hebrews 10:24

4. You must have friends who will tell you the truth in love. When the truth is spoken to you in love, it causes you to grow up. Is it not growth you are seeking? Is that not why you are reading this book? Hearing the truth causes you to grow up. That is what the Bible says.

Relationships with external ministers can expose you to the truth that you need to hear. You may not hear that truth in your own world because there may be no one with enough authority or exposure to tell you what you need to hear.

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Ephesians 4:15

5. You must have associations in the ministry. Many blessings come by being associated with other blessed people. My association with great men of God has been a tremendous source of blessing to me. One day, I was invited to a foreign country to preach. I wondered why the pastor had invited me. When I asked him why he had invited me, he said, “I saw you on a video with David Yonggi Cho. It seemed you were interpreting or doing something on the stage.”

He said to me, “I invited you because anyone who is associated with David Yongi Cho must be a good person.”

“Wow”, I said to myself, “this is the clearest example of how you can be blessed just by being associated with someone else.”

Laban, the non-believer, knew this principle very well. He told Jacob, God blessed me because you were in my camp. He recognized how, where and why blessings were coming to him.

And Laban said unto him, I pray thee, if I have found favour in thine eyes, tarry: for I have learned by experience that the Lord hath blessed me for thy sake.

Genesis 30:27 

6. You must have friendships, associations, relationships, affiliations and connections with other ministers of God to avoid isolation.

And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee…

1 Corinthians 12:21

Often, isolation occurs because one has been hurt in the early stages of ministry. Many ministers run into a corner to escape being despised.

Isolation can work together for your good.

Isolation helps you to concentrate on your ministry.

Isolation helps you avoid being despised, disregarded and discouraged all the time by other so-called successful ministers.

Isolation helps you to avoid the distractions of inter-church politics.

Isolation helps you to avoid the wholesale adoption of other ministers’ mistakes.

Isolation helps you to develop your unique identity and calling.

Isolation helps you to avoid being submerged under the banners of other domineering pastors who are trying to assume lordship over all churches in the city.

Isolation will force you to learn biblical rather than human standards for all aspects of life and ministry.

But isolation can also work against you in the ministry because you will need the input, ideas and gifts of other ministers.

You may be able to learn a great deal from other successful pastors in your city. I have learnt a lot from those directly ahead of me in my city. I have watched and learnt from their mistakes and successes. I do things in my church that I have learnt from other ministers.

by Dag Heward-Mills